I Never Told You
by 24QueenMo
Summary: Jessica's thoughts after she breaks up with Chris. AU Song-fic. One-shot. Based off the song I Never Told You.


**Okay, another StarStruck fic and another song-fic and another one-shot. Anyway, it's in Jessica's POV through-out the whole fic, and if something is written in past tense that means it's a flash-back. Other then that, it's pretty straight forward. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

_I miss those blue eyes  
How you kiss me at night  
I miss the way we sleep_

As I crawl to bed I think about his eyes—Chris' eyes. I miss them so much. Their radiant blue eyes that I love...ed. It's weird to think of the past tense when I think of him. I miss him. The way he kissed my lips right before bed and wrapped his arms around me as we slept. I miss his eyes and kisses. They were always so magical. When I was with him I felt as if I was a princess or a queen or anything special. But I don't get that feeling anymore. I feel emptiness everywhere.

_Like there's no sunrise  
Like the taste of your smile  
I miss the way we breathe_

Everything is different now. I don't get to see his smile or hear him at all. I look around the room. There is nothing of him left in here. He left for good. And I was the one to do it.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in_

"That was amazing," Chris said, gasping for air.

"Yeah," I mumbled, thinking how I'm unmarried and just gave up my virginity.

"What's the matter?" he asked. I could hint a slight worried edge to his tone.

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter." Oh, yes, other then the fact that I just had sex for the first time without my parents knowing.

"Jessica?"

"Yes?"

"You know I love you, right?" He looked at me with those blue eyes.

I just smiled a little and turned my back to him.

_And now  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
And after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you_

I think back to that time. How young and stupid we were. To actually think that having sex would bring us closer. And I'm the stupid one not to say anything. That was probably the tip of the iceberg for him. He just giving me the best thing ever and I say nothing.

I miss him. There. I said it. I'm finally admitting that I was and still am completely in love with him. And now he's gone. Nice going, Jessica. Nice going...

_I see your blue eyes  
Every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to  
When I'm not around you  
It's like I'm alone with me_

I'm still waking up from a rough night's sleep. (I was crying again.) I turn on the TV, only to see Chris' face again. Even when I close them I see them. Why did I push him away? Why did I do what I did? Why did he put up with my crap? My whole _I like you, but now I don't_ crap. I put him through a living hell. I'm alone in my house. My sister's gone to collage and my parents are gone. They all thought I made a huge mistake. But they didn't see him with Alexis at the club. They didn't see how they were grinding. And it wasn't like she was the one who started it. He did. I watched him that whole night. I saw him first go up to her. But now he's the victim. Oh, no, Christopher Wilde can do no wrong. Right, like he's so perfect.

But yet, I want him with me. Even though he did that...I still want him.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in_

Chris glanced at me.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just that you're really beautiful...," he murmured.

I turned my head so he couldn't see the blush creeping on my cheeks.

"So how do you like the house?" he asked, looking around his new house's backyard.

"It's pretty," I said, shivering a bit from the cold. He noticed that and took off his jacket and gave it to me.

"There," he said, putting it on my shoulders.

"You didn't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"You know, buy a house in Kalamazoo."

"What? I have the money and I wanted to be closer to you..." He hesitated a moment. "And mostly because I love you..."

I smiled, but didn't say anything.

He looks at me, probably hoping I would say "I love you, too." But I didn't. I just kissed him and left.

_And now  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
and after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you_

I want him. I want him to hold me. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to say "I love you" as many times as possible. I don't know what got into me. It's like I froze up. And there is nothing I can do about it.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in_

We glared at each other.

"What the hell!" I screamed.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"'What do I mean?' What do I mean? I mean I saw you with Alexis. I saw you making-out and grinding with her. And don't think you can say 'It's not my fault! She kissed me!' Because it is your fault. You kissed her. I saw it, Chris. I saw it all. And don't tell me otherwise."

"Jessie—"

"Don't 'Jessie' me! Call me by my real name!"

"All right, fine. _Jessica_, can you give me a second chance?"

"No, go away for good. I don't want to see or hear from you ever again," I said, turning away from him.

"Well, that's good, because you know what? I never got an 'I love you' from you all the times I said it. I don't care. Go and mess around with some other guy's feelings. Bye, Jessica." With that, he walked away, leaving me alone for good.

_And now  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
and after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you_

_I Never Told You _by_ Colbie Caillet_

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